matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I will pee on everything he values.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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