Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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