YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
