Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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