I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
