Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
