Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
