he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I need a burrito and a hug.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
