she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
