Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
