can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
