Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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