I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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