If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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