so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
