Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
