Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
