that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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