make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
