I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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