I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
