btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
