I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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