I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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