ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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