I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
