You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
