She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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