And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Randomize
