He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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