You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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