I cockslap morals
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
