forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
