Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
