In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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