I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
