I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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