I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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