So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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