the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize