Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
