Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Randomize
