Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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