we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
