This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
