my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
