I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
