I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
