I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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