I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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