friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
do herpes really smell.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
