so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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