its not stalking. its research.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
