Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
