I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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