Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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