I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
