in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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