I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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